I know you were just practicing!

Avoid the tourist trap shit as you would the Vashta Nerada [perhaps bible salesmen?]. The mega-churgh of Geekdom – Hall H – is a must see, but why suffer hours waiting in line for the glorified Marvel or Summit press releases promising a coveted sneak peek trailer – only to find that it’s been leaked two hours later anyway?! I’m lookin’ at you, Thor!

Instead, I have a few picks for some of the quirkier panels to check out this weekend. And you can fit like four of these, some costume watching, AND a bender to the Gaslamp in the same time as a Thor Panel.  Some of these are the deep cuts, my friends. The stuff you’ve got to go a bit further down the rabbit hole for. But go for ‘em anyways, you’ll be amazed one way or the other!

Starship Smackdown XVIII!

Bring the Pain!!

OK, so I have to plug this first because it is a yearly tradition for me and my friends at the convention. It’s the superbowl of full contact Spacecraft debate. “The greatest spaceships in the history of the universe and this or any other dimension compete for the highly coveted Smackdown title.” Spaceshipologists duke it out for their favorite cruisers. This is a no brainer, and one of the most beloved panels at the con.

Christian Comics: The Word in Pictures

Buddy Jesus?

The oldest fan fiction group in the world gathers together to… Oh who am I kidding? I guess ever since Jedi’s made their own religion, Christians have wanted a piece of the Geek culture market. I am poking my head into this room to see one thing: Obsessive christians mated with obsessive comic fans. If they’re literally mating, then all the better. Otherwise, someone better be giving these people hell about the story flaws in Leviticus, or I am GTFO.

The Write Stuff: Creating Genre Television

OK, this isn’t a deep cut, but allow me to schill for my boss momentarily, as these kind of Industry panels are vital to the legitimacy of the Con. Instead of a lame press release, you get entertainment industry insiders discussing how they have parlayed their fandom into a professional career producing genre Television. They’ve fought the good fight against network procedurals for years, now find out how they’ve won and lost along the way.  Writers from Alias, The Middleman, Firefly, Fringe and V will all take part.

The Design Process for Film and Television

Cloud City!

Harrison Ellenshaw was the Matte Painting and Miniatures unit designer for Empire Strikes back. He’ll be leading a discussion with other artists about how they helped create the look and feel of such movies as Star Trek (2009), Iron Man 2, Pirates of the Caribbean… This is going to be an insane conversation about how they’ve helped design the look of our cultural zeitgeist. Do you want to see a picture of Thor’s helmet, or hear the story of how the deck of the Enterprise was re-imagined? This is going to be a very special panel.

Buffy the Musical – Sunday, 4pm Ballroom 20

This is going to be bedlam. Hell, the program references Rocky Horror and Mob Riots. For those of you unaware, the Con is ending its festivities with a public screening of Buffy’s musical episode: Once More, With Feeling! People are encouraged to dress up, sing along and dance in the aisles. Not sure if I’ll be touched by the communal sharing of something beloved, or groped by a dancing Wiccan. Either way, I’m so there.

Harry Potter Fandom Panel

Like they're NOT going to discuss this?

This could have been replaced by the Twilight Fan Fiction Group or the Little Lulu Fan Group, but no matter your flavor of Genre, you’re missing out if you don’t watch a group of fanpage moderators and genre insiders engage fans and discuss the State of their Fandom.  (Is my fandom lackluster this year?) This will be an important year for Potter’s Army, as filming is set to wrap on the Penultimate Harry Potter film and Universal Orlando readies to open “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.” Is the future safe for Harry admirers?! Kidding aside, I really do hope this leans towards debate and an issues driven panel vs. a litanny of updates on the opening of theme parks. There could be something really cool and entertaining here. It’s a gamble, but it’s DEFINITELY something you’ll only see at Comic-Con.

Oddball Comics

Say what?!

Scott Shaw takes us through the history of comics, highlighting the “craziest comic books ever published!” This is a perennial favorite. Shaw presents an hysterical slideshow of the wildest publications that have ever been drawn up. How bizarre? Well the picture to the left seems to be all for Amputee Love and Leather Nuns…

During the band’s encore, “Hang You From the Heavens,” singer Alison Mosshart (also of the Kills) — a wraith-thin tangle of bird’s-nest black hair, cigarette smoke, leather, and lipstick — spat the sacrilegiously nasty come-on: “I wanna grab you by the hair, and drag you to the devil,” as the trio in black behind her sounded like a late-’60s/early-’70s gang of white afro’d skeeves (plus a ringer Latin percussionist) in bell-bottoms, tiny tight t-shirts, mustaches, and unlicensed handguns, working out a four-minute version of rock, blues, funk, and soul, that would later be issued on a limited-edition compilation by DJ Shadow (and called something like “Mr. Chicken Shit”).

I’ve seen this gang three times now, and this is the tightest I’ve heard them play. Jack White was the most animated I’ve seen him in a long time. He’s always out there on the edge, but last night was his “Detroit Badass” character night. Dropping Mother Fuckin’ this and that. It was like seeing a nun drinking Redbull Vodka’s for the first time.

Anyway, I tried in vain to snap off some photos from my phone, and here’s what I was able to salvage:

Why? Because it doesn’t fit with Twitter’s core values. Twitter is at its best when they push people to interact with each other. Millions of microposts a day push ideas around the internet. Users reach news organizations. They organize #WorldCup meetups, donate to haitian relief and, basically, SHARE their excitement about something.

Now twitter wants to use that excitement to fuel their financial ends. And I’m all for that! Old Spice just pulled that feat off in a spectacular way. People were ecstatic to be part of a two way marketing dialogue.  To a lesser extent, I think people were excited over @Earlybird’s first offering too: When twitter users bought a ticket to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, they got a second one free. Take a date! Organize with your friends, get out and DO something. I like that.

Even if the movie was lame, the idea was good. It was active. And the barrier to entry was low, so people could actually take a chance on it.

But 9% off a $400 TV? Excuse me for not jumping out of my seat. Where’s the community spirit here? Did I somehow land on Overstock.com? Twitter has a brief moment to prove that @earlybird is a cool new aspect of the twitter community, or else they are going to end up as the first official Twitter spam bot, with a quick #UnfollowFriday doom to follow.